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Things I hope the neighbors don't overhear while the windows are open...

"Raya get over here so I can plug you in!"
"Mommy, I want unplugged!"
"I don't want to be plugged! I don't LIKE formula!"

"I can't unplug you until you ask with nice manners and a happy face."
"I can't squeeze you until you let me plug you in."
"Eew, gross! It smells like Raya's stomach in here!"

"What was that sound?" Raya: "*giggle giggle* That was just my stomach."

"What's that stuff coming out of Raya?" (referring to syringe connected to G tube) "Oh, that's just chocolate, snot, bathwater, marshmallows, and a little bit of formula."

"Swallow that bite of potato or you are NOT getting anymore butter!"
"Hold still and let me put this back in your stomach or I'm going to have to sit on you. You don't want Mommy to have to sit on you, do you?"

"I don't WANT to go to THAT doctor, I want to go see Dr. S!"
"Raya, it's time to feed your tummy." followed by "NO! My tummy doesn't WANT to be feed!"
"Don't open my cap! I want to open my cap mySELF!"

"Your stomach is leaking, get off the carpet!"
"Put down that goldfish cracker right now and eat your Smarties."
"No, sweetheart, I'm sorry but you can't have a bite of Mommy's sandwich. It would make your tummy sick. Do you want an ice cube instead?"

"Raya burped! Good job, Raya!!" (repeated excitedly by all members of the family, whilst patting her on the back)

"Calm down and relax. If you puke, you're going to be in trouble."
"You'd better not puke!"
"I don't WANT formula! Feed my tummy SLOOOOOWWW, please."

"Mommy, there's puke in my mouth. It's okay, I swallowed it."
"Mommy, I spit up."
"Mommy, Raya spit up." (she's 3, by the way.)

"Guys, throwing wet diapers at each other and calling them stink bombs is NOT acceptable behavior."

"Okay everybody, we're going to have a race to see who can get their jammies on before Raya's pump starts beeping. Ready, set, GO!"

"Stop pulling on that, you're going to tip over your IV pole!"
"That IV pole is NOT a toy!"
"Raya, stop drinking out of your extension tube!"

"Mommy, Raya's beeping!"
"Look, Mommy, I making that stuff come out of my tummy!" (as she flexes her abs while I'm venting her stomach)
"Raya, get your finger out of your stomach."

"No, you may NOT share your crackers with your sister!"
"Mmmm. That was yummy dinner ice! Thank you for the dinner ice, Mommy."
"Raya, how many ice cubes do you want for dinner?"
"Can I have my ices wet please?"

I know there are lots more that I'm forgetting at the moment but you get the point.

The kids have some interesting words in their vocabularies too. Yesterday, Cole's homework was to draw a double bubble map about the respiratory and digestive systems. (he's 7 and in 2nd grade) He did it by himself from memory and did a GREAT job. He came to show it to me and was trying to remember some other digestive system words. After he described them to me and told me that one was part of the small intestine and one was part of the large intestine, I figured out that he was trying to think of jejunum and colon. JEJUNUM and COLON. What 7 year old knows THOSE words?? He makes his momma proud. :)

And last but not least... I was debating adding this story but what the heck, might as well. So yesterday afternoon, I was putting together the emergency G tube kit for the health office at Raya's school in case her tube ever comes out at school. One very important item in an emergency kit is water soluble lubricant to put on the stoma and the tube so that it will go back in without hurting as much. We don't have any surgi-lube laying around so the cheaper alternative is KY. I was filling a syringe with it and realized that the tube was getting a little low. For a second, I thought to myself, Oh, we're low on KY. Maybe Santa should put some in Raya's stocking...oh wait, that's probably not an appropriate gift for a 3 year old.


  1. LOL!!!! I thought ours were bad...these are the winners!

  2. LOL - yup. My DH had to ask the pharmacist where the k-y was. He was more embarrassed he couldn't find it than he was of what he needed. Until the kid asked what variety he wanted, and DH said "I assume plain -- it's for my 3 Year Old." He then turned red and stammered "My 3 year old's FEEDING TUBE." Thankfully they know us VERY well at CVS so they didn't think anything of it. And yes, we plug our tubey kids in (we have 2 of them)at's like the Matrix.

  3. HAHA! I love it! My daughter is 3 and has Hirschsprung's Disease, so we have to do a lot of rectal irrigations. I HATE going to the store to buy lube and rubber gloves at the same time...there's just no explaining that to the cashier!! My daughter also has a mic-key button g-tube, so I recognized a bunch of these! I can imagine how these things sound to other people, but it's our normal and we embrace it and make the best of it, and you can't ask for more than that! :)

  4. Santa should put some extra tubie supplies in Raya's stocking so you don't run out!!! I had a g-tube from 2 weeks before my 1st birthday until I was 3.5 or 4 years old. The scar looks like a second belly button now. I can send you an email with my page of medical equipment that I had when I was a baby if you want. I think Raya would love the pics of me and my feeding tube. Only tubie parents know what those sayings mean as well as other tubie families :D


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