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Whew. And puke.

I'm feeling relieved right now. It turns out she doesn't hate oatmeal like I thought after yesterday's complete failure at breakfast. (meaning I completely failed to get ANY of it into her mouth) Yesterday, she had a couple bites of oatmeal+banana and then dug in with both hands and plastered her entire upper body with it, including her eyes, nose, and ears and the front half of her hair. But as it turns out, she doesn't hate oatmeal, she just doesn't like bananas! I can TOTALLY accept that. :)
We had our second visit with her new feeding therapist after school yesterday too. It turned into another session of me talking to the therapist the whole time and not really doing ANYthing with Raya, but I needed it. I was a little confused by the time she left because I thought it made sense for the next step in the process to be transferring the formula from the night feed to the day feed so she has the opportunity to have her stomach really be empty in the morning. She said that's not how we need to do it though, and that if we try to give her all 30 oz of her formula during the day plus additional fluids AND try to get her to eat, she'll never be hungry enough to eat. It makes sense, but when she said that our first priority is to get Raya to eat more during the day, my heart sunk a little. What the heck have I been trying to do for the last 21 months?!? I thought that was kind of our ultimate goal, not just another step in the process.
I understand what she means though. If I take her entire calorie count and pour it in during the day, it's going to overload her little stomach and the likelihood of her wanting to eat or having room to eat more food will decrease. Our plan is to do 400ml of formula overnight instead of 500, and then have 5 feeds during the day. Before each feed, we will give her the opportunity to eat something. 3 times a day, it will be larger meals and twice, it will be snacks. The down side of that is that I can't just stick her in the high chair and give her cheerios to keep her out of trouble like I've been SO enjoying lately! We have to stop letting her graze all day though.

When we were talking, the therapist kept making reference to hunger and Raya needing to not snack all day so that she'd be hungry, and I had to bite my tongue a lot. I am convinced that Raya does not feel hunger, and/or recognize the connection between hunger and the need to eat. For her, eating is just an activity still. BUT, I will go along with what the feeding therapist is suggesting because she has more experience with this than I do and I will be the first to admit that I don't know what I'm doing. I've never had to teach a kid to eat before!
Well, anyway, back to this morning. Things were 100% better with the oatmeal today. She ate 6 1/2 out of 8 tablespoons (I did oats, raisins and cinnamon today instead of the banana) and at 16.25 calories per tablespoon, she ate 105 calories. YAY!! Then she had a nap, and then meds. Then she sat in the high chair and licked/nibbled/spit out a slice of apple while I did her 100ml bolus feed. *Sigh* and that's when our almost 3 month vomit-free streak ended. All good things must come to an end, right? It reminds me of the meat packing plant down the road from where I grew up. They had a huge marquee sign out front that said "__ days with no accidents." Maybe I should make a sign like that for Raya. :)


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