I've been playing phone tag with the genetic counselor. Well, mostly it's been me leaving him messages and then the one time he called me back, my phone must have been in a dead zone because it didn't ring, and then suddenly had a voice mail with no missed call. And of course it was at 4pm on Friday so do you think the guy answered his phone when I called him back? Of course not. His voice mail said, "There are some results I want to discuss with you." which I assume and hope means that there is more to the results than "normal" and that it's not another "well, we found XYZ but we don't know the significance of that, if any" because I'm so over those.
My mission in life this week (aside from taking little girls to appointments) has been to purge all of the excess clothing out of our house. I'm pretty sure that clothing is reproducing in dark corners of our house because that's the only way I can fathom how we have the amount of clothing we have. I went through some boxes of clothes yesterday and pulled out the things that will fit the little girls now, and bagged up a LOT of clothes that we hauled off to a clothing drive. It felt pretty awesome to let all of that go.
Letting go has been a bit of a theme for me this week. Letting go of material things is the obvious, but there has been a lot of figurative letting go too. Somehow, the literal letting go of things seems to smooth the rough edges of the figurative letting go. Letting go of the stuff that clutters up our space is more difficult than it seems like it should be. Nobody likes to be surrounded by clutter, yet so many people are. Everyone has their various reasons for the clutter. I don't have time to take care of it. I'm not sure what to do with all of the stuff. I don't have room to put it away so it sits in a pile instead. I'm saving it for _________ (fill in the blank). It was given to me by someone I love for a special occasion and I can't bear to part with it. Whatever the reason, there has to be a tipping point when the clutter becomes more suffocating than the reason for hanging onto it.
Clearing out the clutter is both exhausting and liberating. Letting go of the piles of stuff and taking back your space is empowering. The same goes for the figurative letting go. The figurative "clutter" of life comes in many forms and is burdensome. Taking on too many emotional and psychological burdens wears heavily on mental and emotional health. Letting go of figurative clutter is every bit as difficult as decluttering personal space. Maybe more so, since it can be hard to even recognize the figurative clutter in our lives. Sometimes we don't realize how burdensome a relationship, thought, idea, or habit is until we remove it from our lives and feel lighter and freer.
The week ahead of us, much like the last 3, will be busy. It will be packed full of appointments (we have 5 medical and a couple of other appointments scheduled) and all the usual craziness as well, like piano lessons, early release on Wednesday, scouts, youth activity, a home study, and prepping for one of the kids' birthdays this weekend. I simply cannot juggle all of those things AND all the other things I need and want to get done, so some of it will just have to be let go. It's easier said than done, but no matter how Wonder Woman I think I am, I can't do it all and this week, that will just have to be okay.
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