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Soaking her in

At the end of a long day (16+ hours of awake time for little missy...) that comes near the end of another long week, I'll admit that I'm ready for Friday. My current favorite thing about Fridays is that I don't have to struggle to get Raya to school by 7:45 and the big kids can ride the bus to school. It probably shouldn't be as hard as I make it to get to school on time but it's a but of a challenge most days. Today was not her best day school-wise. She's still trying to kick this sinus infection and I know she want feeling her best this morning but she needed to go to school and I needed her to go to school. For the first time since she started preschool, she said she wanted to stay home and not go to school today. It was time to leave and the other kids were all in the car so I told her we needed to take the kids to school. When we pulled up to the preschool side of the school, she realized I was dropping her off and she started bawling like I had betrayed her. She repeated over and over, ”I just don't want to go to school today!” Over and over and over the whole time I was connecting her pump and putting her backpack on her. I signed her in and her teacher picked her up and held her while I got back in the car to leave. I hate leaving her like that but I knew she'd get over it once I left. When I came back to pick her up, she was acting more calm & subdued than normal but she was happy. I was happy too when I went through her backpack and saw that she had finished the whole 3 ounces of chocolate formula that I sent for her snack. I can't get her to drink the vanilla now but at least she's drinking the chocolate. She drained me today. Every single thing that she said or did involved a whole lot of repetitive whining. She's repeating phrases and sentences quite often lately and has been very difficult to understand when she talks. She whined at me all.day.long. She alternated the whining with, ”Mommy, I just like you.” and, ”Mommy, I LOVE you.” It was unprompted and very sweet and helped me overlook some of the whining. She didn't have quite as much energy as usual today for some reason, which meant a little less energy expenditure on my part in trying to keep up with her, but by late afternoon I had a nasty headache. I took an evening nap and slept past when she gets her night medicine, but by then she was already lying on the floor so I decided she probably wasn't going to need it anyway. She must have heard my thoughts because she stayed wide awake until 10:45. That, my friends, is a very long day. This sickness she's had for the past 3+ weeks has done a number on her good sleep habits. She hasn't gone to bed and stayed there all night more than a couple times in the last month. Tonight she sat on the couch playing with books until finally squishing her little self onto the couch next to me. She likes to lay partially hanging off the edge of the couch so she's not actually touching me. I was just about to go put her in bed when she twitched, almost feel off the couch, and rolled over to snuggle. My plans changed. I'm not moving until she does. Times like this make up for all the exhaustion of the day. It fills my heart with joy to have her sleeping relatively peacefully with her little face on my arm. (it also makes me wonder about some of the things she does in her sleep but that's a topic for another day) She's so incredibly full of energy and spunk during the day that when I get these rare opportunities to snuggle or hold her while she's sleeping, I suddenly don't care about anything else but soaking her in while I can. I love the way her little fingers grip my arm, the sounds of her breathing, and the occasional sleep chattering and lip smacking. These are the things I never want to forget. It's sad how fast kids grow up. Snuggling with my babies is truly one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me.

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