The week before we left to go to Utah & Idaho, I was in the foyer during Sacrament meeting (the first hour of church) having my weekly wrestling match with Raya and casually mentioned to the nursery leader that eventually, I'd bring her in. She said something to the effect of, "Oh, it's okay, don't worry about it. Whenever you're ready, just bring her in." As if it was because of ME not being "ready" to let my baby go to nursery! I was thinking, "Oh no, honey, you don't understand! This is NOT about me!" When I walked Raya in to the classroom yesterday, I told the 2 nursery leaders that now that Raya has gone back to a G tube, it's okay for her to come to nursery, or something to that effect.
Then I tried to give them a brief rundown of Raya's lack of eating skills and tried to emphasize the fact that even though she is really good at biting food and filling her mouth with it, she doesn't know how to chew & swallow and that they would need to really watch her closely when they gave her food. I told them that as far as snacks go, if they wouldn't give it to a 6-8 month old, they shouldn't give it to her (i.e. NO fruit snacks/chewy things), and that most likely if they gave her water, they should expect her to soak the front of her dress with it & that that was okay. :)
I had to laugh because when I was about to walk out, Raya was standing facing the other kids with her back towards me and they were inspecting her like a bunch of little monkeys inspecting the new monkey. They were all swarming around her touching her (that made me a little nervous because of the tube and instantly validated my previous worry about having her in there with the GJ tube) and it was rather amusing. Then I forced myself not to think about the germs she will be exposed to and walked out of the room. I peeked in the window about an hour later and before I even got down the hallway, I could hear a kid crying through the door. It wasn't Raya though, she was standing on a chair. Fabulous.
When I came to pick her up, I expected her to react the same way she reacts when I walk through the door at home: either crying & whining and clinging to my leg or else "Hi Mommy!". She did neither. She just casually walked across the room and stood there for me to pick her up. They said she did really well and she even ate some goldfish crackers & a graham cracker. By the time we got home, she was completely out for the count:
|(excuse the lack of a sheet in her bed, her morning diaper runneth over, thank you liquid diet)|
As frustrating as the last few days have been for me (did I mention that Raya's still crying & throwing fits most of the time even now that we're home?) I am feeling really good today about the fact that I was able to trust my instincts about not sending her to nursery and that we know it was the right decision even though it was difficult. It was a little boost of confidence for me. Now I have to get used to sitting all the way through church again. :) The end. Happy first day of nursery, Raya!